Heart Shaped Box
by Gitana
Summary: After his encounter with Meg, Sam runs into Jessica and Madison’s angry ghosts.


**By:** Gitana  
**Rating/Timeline: **PG-13 - Season 4, 4.02 ("Are you there, God? It's me Dean Winchester.")  
**Disclaimer:** None of it is mine, of course. That honor belongs to Mr. Eric Kripke and Warner Brothers.  
**Summary:** After his encounter with Meg, Sam runs into Jessica and Madison's angry ghosts.

* * *

"You're a killer, Sam, so detached and so cold."

Sam felt paralyzed at the sound of that sweet, angry voice speaking behind his back. Even before he finished hearing what she had to say, his eyes were blinking red with the pressure of holding back bitter tears. He didn't want to turn to look at this ghost. He could hardly move as his fingers caressed the shotgun bumping into its trigger almost by chance.

"Aren't you even going to look at me, you coward?"

"I ca-can't…" Sam tried speaking.

Jessica's spirit moved like lighting to face the man she once dreamt of marrying, her eyes glowing with hate. Her skin and gown tainted with smoke and ashes from a fire Sam couldn't put out. Her hair was long, down to her waist, blond and black from the dirt she was left in, stains of dried blood over her womb.

"Jess… Oh, no…" It felt like someone had kicked him in the side of his stomach.

Sam kneeled in front of the ghost that would soon kill him if he didn't find the strength to shoot rock salt at her.

"Oh no? Oh yes, Sam. Oh yes. Every day I'm burning and you get to walk away from me. You get to forget me a little more every day, you get to replace me!" Her voice got louder and louder with every word, digging for the killer blow to disarm Sam of his weapon and his will. "You knew I was going to die and you let it happen! It's like you didn't love me like you say you did, you liar."

"That is not true!" Sam yelled back, offended and guilty. "I'm SO sorry!" Sam started crying, the tears getting caught in his teeth and fruitless apology.

"I wouldn't be dead if it weren't for you! How can you live with yourself after everything you've caused?"

"It's my fault, Jess… It's all my fault."

Sam's knees were starting to hurt as the entire weight of his body shifted. The fabric of his jeans and the hard floors were making him uncomfortable. The pain was hugging his waist, waking him up with every pull. He stood up and shot Jessica three times as her ghost disappeared into billows of color and air, blending into the nothingness of the hall.

"I'm so sorry," he kept repeating.

Sam was agitated and hot. An irregular heartbeat sucked the air through his chest, almost choking him from the inside. Sam tried to control his breathing; he opened the linen closet to grab Bobby's red hex box. His left hand was shaking as he reached for it and the sweat coming down the side of his face burned his skin. He was so close to letting Jessica's ghost kill him, then he thought of Dean. He had just gotten him back and he owed it to his brother to fight. Sam closed the doors to the linen closet and started walking across the hallway toward the stairs.

"So she's the reason I had to almost grab you by the throat so you would kiss me?"

It was Madison's turn. Sam didn't think twice and started firing rounds of rock salt in her direction.

"You killed me once; it's not going to work this time." Madison appeared behind Sam as she grabbed him. She had her right hand closed around his throat and her left arm across his upper body slashing his chest with her fingernails from side to side. Sam screamed in pain as he reached back with his arms to grab her head but Madison disappeared again.

"It was so nice of you to sleep with me before blowing me away. You used me and then you got rid of me."

"I fought for you. You _begged_ me to kill you!" Sam growled as Madison reappeared in front of him. "I wanted to save you!"

Madison still wore Sam's shirt, drenched in the blood from the bullet wound in her chest.

"Please, you couldn't wait to pull the trigger and make yourself the victim."

Madison kicked the shotgun out of his hands and sent him to the ground. The bounce off the ground and wall made Sam lose his grip on the hex box that sailed through the floor to the end of the hallway next to the gun. Sam tried to crawl to get them, but Jessica's ghost pinned him against the door to one of the hallway rooms.

Sam was in love with Jessica and wanted to marry her, have kids with her. Sam liked Madison and saw himself going back to her after a long road trip. But Sam couldn't have any of it. He felt guilty that his insistence on having a relationship killed Jessica and didn't allow him to see the truth about Madison.

It was devastating to be so alone with memories of dead girls in his arms. His heart was broken for them. Right now, this was about Dean, the one person in his life that he couldn't choose not to love. He had to get out of there.

Weak, Sam slumped down on the floor with blood running down his torso. Madison sat next to him with her head on his shoulders and her hand on his chest, poking at the fresh wounds.

"He did it to me first," Jessica said. "You left me burning and let Dean drag you out of our room. You made me a stand in for you normal life fantasy and then you used me to go scrambling back to your misery."

Sam was sweating and gasping for air. Madison grabbed him by the jaw and twisted her fingers into his skin.

"Say something, you monster!" Madison yelled into his face.

"I'm sorry..."

Sam reached inside his jacket and found the handle of a small iron knife .

Jessica and Madison were now moving in on him, ready to kill him. Sam waited until they got even closer and repelled them with the knife.

He laid on the floor for a few seconds, trying to gather himself. Once he felt strong enough, he crawled to the shotgun and grabbed the hex box as he stumbled down the stairs where he found Bobby mid chanting.

Sam handed Bobby the box. "Take it and end this."

"Sam, you're torn up!"

"Please end it," Sam repeated.

Dean walked into the room with the rest of Bobby's things.

"Sammy? What happened?"

"I'll tell you later."

The End


End file.
